At 630 this morning Carol shrugged me off the comfort of the bean bag chair where I fell asleep the previous two nights. Delirious mother was heavily sedated with a combination of drugs yesterday and shortly after blacked out. We were wondering if she would ever wake up again. Carol was the bearer of the good news the morning when she said to me "Dude, she's going....come hold her hand or something!"
I looked at the Clock. Only 630 I thought, probably another false alarm. I got up, climbed on the bed and observed mothers eye lids that flapped like the wings of bird learning to fly for the very first time. The belly that once expanded and contracted with each and every breath, live waves in the sea, was much more still. Could this be the end? Or has she slipped in a Coma? As Carol held mother's hand, I noticed a stark difference in skin color. A bitter sweet combination of lemons, bananas, yellow peppers, pineapples. I touched her hand and body. Cold. Very Cold. But, she still breathed lightly very lightly. Pulse still there. But dying out. I climbed back into my bean bag. Closed my eyes and knew. The birdie had gone bye bye with the wind. I fell asleep and had a dream that brought tears to my eyes. I woke up to hear the wailing tears of my aunt, Gina, not suzy. In disbelief she shook my mother "Shereen, Shereen! Wake up!....No this is not happening" she screamed in denial. Who you kidding, we all had this coming. Except my faithful grandma and aunt, Gina. If only you prepared yourself for such a moment like I did and told her everything on your hearts. You would be at peace now. And you wouldn't shed a single tear, like me. But deep down inside, I know that there is a fountain that will trickle droplets of blood each and every day of the rest of my life.
Carol, lies, stretched out next to mother. Quietly kissing, caressing, touching and crying. She's a brave one. I can't touch mother. To me she's bodily dead. Her soul is floating around somewhere. I sincerely hope she doesn't get stuck between two worlds. Mum, was clinging on to her life with every breath. She strongly desired to live despite the pain and suffering. She loved life and lived it to the fullest. May her soul leave in peace.
One argument after the next shattered the emotion filled glass. My uncle the doctor refuting the notion to sit next to mother's bedside because "she's gone". My aunt insisting that Mother's body is still warm. My grandma warning that she will stay by mum's bed side all day long if she has to. My figuratively present father plans for the Church service, 6 hours from now. Too soon? How will everyone know in time to deadly celebrate the end of her suffering? I hope this blog does the job. Mother's church service will take place today at 4 pm at St. Mary El Golf Church, Heliopolis. The second held of the good bye ceremony will be held tomorrow.
This is a day of Celebration. Indeed sad, but mother was suffering greatly. In memory of Mother's bright smile, I challenge each and every participant to break black attire traditions and dress in bright colors that truly bring to light, the person my mother was. This is what she would have wanted.
Bye, Bye Birdie.
I looked at the Clock. Only 630 I thought, probably another false alarm. I got up, climbed on the bed and observed mothers eye lids that flapped like the wings of bird learning to fly for the very first time. The belly that once expanded and contracted with each and every breath, live waves in the sea, was much more still. Could this be the end? Or has she slipped in a Coma? As Carol held mother's hand, I noticed a stark difference in skin color. A bitter sweet combination of lemons, bananas, yellow peppers, pineapples. I touched her hand and body. Cold. Very Cold. But, she still breathed lightly very lightly. Pulse still there. But dying out. I climbed back into my bean bag. Closed my eyes and knew. The birdie had gone bye bye with the wind. I fell asleep and had a dream that brought tears to my eyes. I woke up to hear the wailing tears of my aunt, Gina, not suzy. In disbelief she shook my mother "Shereen, Shereen! Wake up!....No this is not happening" she screamed in denial. Who you kidding, we all had this coming. Except my faithful grandma and aunt, Gina. If only you prepared yourself for such a moment like I did and told her everything on your hearts. You would be at peace now. And you wouldn't shed a single tear, like me. But deep down inside, I know that there is a fountain that will trickle droplets of blood each and every day of the rest of my life.
Carol, lies, stretched out next to mother. Quietly kissing, caressing, touching and crying. She's a brave one. I can't touch mother. To me she's bodily dead. Her soul is floating around somewhere. I sincerely hope she doesn't get stuck between two worlds. Mum, was clinging on to her life with every breath. She strongly desired to live despite the pain and suffering. She loved life and lived it to the fullest. May her soul leave in peace.
One argument after the next shattered the emotion filled glass. My uncle the doctor refuting the notion to sit next to mother's bedside because "she's gone". My aunt insisting that Mother's body is still warm. My grandma warning that she will stay by mum's bed side all day long if she has to. My figuratively present father plans for the Church service, 6 hours from now. Too soon? How will everyone know in time to deadly celebrate the end of her suffering? I hope this blog does the job. Mother's church service will take place today at 4 pm at St. Mary El Golf Church, Heliopolis. The second held of the good bye ceremony will be held tomorrow.
This is a day of Celebration. Indeed sad, but mother was suffering greatly. In memory of Mother's bright smile, I challenge each and every participant to break black attire traditions and dress in bright colors that truly bring to light, the person my mother was. This is what she would have wanted.
Bye, Bye Birdie.
Break the dark black attire!!!.... with every ending there is an new beginning and for the luckiest ones fly into the light.
ReplyDeletei loved your honest and sincere words written in such poetic letters.
ReplyDeleteTruly she was a sweet bird causig warm sounds to all those aroud her. everyone got intouch with her enjoyed every moment.
i am sure she's enjoying her eteral happiness. and will remain watching over her daughters bit now with more power.
Sandra when i knew that Sherry is gone, i couldnt stop myself from crying, despite preparing myself that 4 the whole past week that this is soon 2 be happen . I looked 2 my hands, i was holding a pic 4 Jesus standing on a stair receiving a beautiful bride wearing white dress & long veil, angels are all around with a very bright background ... I said 2 myself this is her this is my dear Sherine she's already there , a shiny free spirit happy with this gr8 celebration after very very long pain,,, i was said that i'm travelling & wont be able 2 attend the last bye but i discovered she's not here any more, i looked up 2 the sky & i talked 2 her, she's up there & she's always be there 4 us, dont ever think that u've became motherless, she's around doing her role as a mother, daughter, sister & cousin but in a different way ... R I P brave dear sherry i love u ... Shirley, Youssef & baby Michel
ReplyDeleteYour mom was a beautiful person, inside and out.She was a very special lady and loved by everyone who knew her.We will always remember her sweet smile and beautiful nature. May God keep you & your family in his embrace at this difficult time.You are in our prayers.
ReplyDeleteMagdi Takla , Sonia Maurice ,Emad Takla
love u sis. thank you
ReplyDeleteI admire the strength you have to deal with this tragedy in the most positive light you can and also have the strength to write about it. May God bless her soul and keep her safe in the Heavens and may you and your family find peace in the fact that her suffering is long gone. You are an inspiration.
ReplyDeleteSandy I wish I was like you. I was waiting for a miracle and rejecting the idea of death. Still I don't believe that I won't receive her calls. jokes and seeing her. Don't know what to do I feel lost and want to see her and tell her that I adore her, she is part of me and she even looks like me.
ReplyDeleteI beg you Sandy don't leave us again, I'll do like your mum and plead you to stay we all need you and Carol close to us or there will be no value to us. shereen was the real smile in our life, our real oxygen so we need you both.
Adore you sister and please keep visting me as you used to always until I come to you
Gina
May your moms soul rest in peace. You have shown great courage.
ReplyDeleteI can only imagine the emotional turmoil you must be going through.
It's okay not to have it all together all the time. The memories of your mom will live on. You and your sister are her legacy. Bless you! شيرين
I don't know what to say except: in my opinion, this disease called the Heaven Disease as these are the people who really loves God and he loves him. He chose her because she is different than us. I'm not good in explaining what's inside my heart, but all what i am sure of is that she's in a place where she can see us and pray for us.
ReplyDeleteAlthough i did not see your mother, but i really feel that i have the same connection between you and her and i am sure that she always CARE about you whenever she is in.