Three days following Mother's burial, I'm finally home in silence and solitude. The loss of my Mother gathered people from all over the country. Not only did Mother's friends and family attend the Funeral but also the friends and family of those suffering a loss in their lives. The presence of my friends and family, especially those who managed to keep a smile on their face while sharing positive stories provided my with comfort. Comfort that I am not alone.
But, when I'm alone I openly questioned my relationship with God. Who is God in time of crisis? Rather than seeking God's comfort, I sought friends, books, movies, music, exercise and writing amongst other distractions understanding that I will grow from this grieving experience. Not only comforted but also foolishly over confident is how I think, act and feel right now. Rather than Thank God for providing me with positive coping mechanisms to deal with my Mother's loss, I provided my resignation and questioned the existence of a God.
Mother, I am filled with the strength, courage and inspiration you always had. I am truly grateful for who I have become through you. I am ignorant, insignificant and can not see the truth.
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