I usually wake up for midnight snacks. Rather than sleep walk, I sleep eat. But on the day Mother passed away, I woke up, lyed quietly in bed and reminisced. But banana wrapped Mother was the only image that came to mind. Her washed, perfumed and tightly wrapped body in a gold coloured cloak and a pear face sticking out. We all kissed her dead forehead in turn before the body was carried away. On the night she died and the nights that followed, I was surprised that despite sharing twenty four years worth of memories, my mind held tightly on this one image as I lied in bed. The Banana Wrap. Uncomfortable, sad and sorrowful are the emotions that came up. Turn negative into positive I thought. I closed my eyes and imagined her angelic smile floating above my head. Only, then did I feel comforted. I smiled and pretended I could feel her presence. I began to resminse to old memories of us in her favourite places…her summer home and on the beach but I paused when I realized that I was holding on to the past memories rather than leaping into a future of novel mysterious and adventurous future. Creativity. Imagination. Visualization.
We float together from tree to tree in a forest midst castles in the sky. Her smile is contagious. Her laughter is euphoric. There are no constraints or limitations to what can be done in this new world.
I ponder the question what has happened to my Mother’s soul after she died? Did it rise to the heavens or descend to the underworld? Is it stuck in transit patiently waiting for the the day of judgment? Or has it reincarnated itself according to karma?
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