Daylight turns to night and night into day. Approaching 23:30 now, Cairo time. She did a good job sleeping all day, with the exception of the attempted roll overs from side to side and requests to simply sit up right. Bored, tired and soar of lying down she longs to sit up right in bed every 3-4 hours. Sit up. Not Chair. Sit Upright in bed, with her feet dangling, like many of us do on the edge of a pool, on a hot summer's day. How good does that feel?
The nurse and I gently supported, lifted and pulled. The nurse rotated the deadweight legs 90 degrees to the left, while I lifted mother's shoulders and back. I kneeled on the bed behind to prop her back against my chest, as if to create a semi-wall. Mother is sitting up right now. Her head falls on my chest. 1...2...3...4...5...seconds later and panic!
"Enough! Enough! Leave! Stop!" she exclaims while panting heavily.
Slightly confused, I looked to the nurse, thinking what the hell is going on? Didn't she just say she wanted to sit up?
"Okay, okay, we'll put you back. She wants to lie back down because she can't breathe and feels pain round her stomach" explained the nurse. She eloquently translated the language of pain into the language of instruction. Something I' m much more familiar with.
As slowly and gently as humanely possible we re-rotated mum back to her original position, lying flat on her back, the same position she's been in for the past 5 days. Inevitably, we caused her some discomfort. She screams and shouts "I hate you! I hate you! Don't you have any mercy?!"
Choking on tears I manage to utter the words "I love you! I love you! I love you!" The oldest trick in the book, love those who hate you. But deep down inside I'm feel something. Carol and I are utterly confused. Why so much hatred now? Don't you know you that the clock is ticking?
My aunt escorts us out of the room explaining "She's only doing this because she doesn't want to hurt you. She can feel that she's going away now and she doesn't want you to miss her...my uncle did the same thing with his wife and children. But he loved them dearly."
Oh thats great. Thanks for the reassurance and lesson in family heritages; with strength comes sacrifice. I wonder what will I have to sacrifice?
The nurse and I gently supported, lifted and pulled. The nurse rotated the deadweight legs 90 degrees to the left, while I lifted mother's shoulders and back. I kneeled on the bed behind to prop her back against my chest, as if to create a semi-wall. Mother is sitting up right now. Her head falls on my chest. 1...2...3...4...5...seconds later and panic!
"Enough! Enough! Leave! Stop!" she exclaims while panting heavily.
Slightly confused, I looked to the nurse, thinking what the hell is going on? Didn't she just say she wanted to sit up?
"Okay, okay, we'll put you back. She wants to lie back down because she can't breathe and feels pain round her stomach" explained the nurse. She eloquently translated the language of pain into the language of instruction. Something I' m much more familiar with.
As slowly and gently as humanely possible we re-rotated mum back to her original position, lying flat on her back, the same position she's been in for the past 5 days. Inevitably, we caused her some discomfort. She screams and shouts "I hate you! I hate you! Don't you have any mercy?!"
Choking on tears I manage to utter the words "I love you! I love you! I love you!" The oldest trick in the book, love those who hate you. But deep down inside I'm feel something. Carol and I are utterly confused. Why so much hatred now? Don't you know you that the clock is ticking?
My aunt escorts us out of the room explaining "She's only doing this because she doesn't want to hurt you. She can feel that she's going away now and she doesn't want you to miss her...my uncle did the same thing with his wife and children. But he loved them dearly."
Oh thats great. Thanks for the reassurance and lesson in family heritages; with strength comes sacrifice. I wonder what will I have to sacrifice?
No comments:
Post a Comment